Could Have Been Worse
by Lady Shockbox
Summary: Based on a true story. Shockshell is a Decepticon sent to Earth after the battle for Mission City, but he's less than thrilled to be a human femme's new car. Then again, things could have been worse. Oneshot. OCs. Self-Insert. Part of the Shockshellverse.


Why yes, this _is_ actually based on a true story… with the exception of having a moody Decepticon thrown into the mix. I _love_d getting my first car. Transformers is not mine, but I call dibs on my awesomely sexy Impala, Shockshell. Reviews, constructive criticism or otherwise, are prattled over adoringly.

* * *

**Yeah I get it, you're an outcast**

**Always coming in last, always under attack**

**Slipped down, couldn't get much lower**

**Watch your back**

_Sound of Madness_ − Shinedown

**i**

He wasn't sure whom to be more disgusted with − himself or Barricade. However, given his _current_ predicament, there was a significantly larger part of him more disgusted with the obnoxious organics putting the ridiculously frilly bow on his hood.

It was a mildly warm day on the thirty-first of what the humans referred to as May. The sky was clear with birds chirping brightly from their perches in the high trees, but he honestly had no personal inclination to care much for the weather or wildlife. He was a _Decepticon_ for spark's sake − part of a faction feared by the entire universe for their cunning and ferocity − and that much _alone_ should have been an indication to anyone that he wouldn't have cared. _Shouldn't _have. The fact that he even remembered the date at all bothered him immensely, and he had to suppress the urge to rev his engine in aggravation. If he _did_ make a noise, the two men who were fastening the irritating bow to his hood would most certainly become alarmed. He was already in enough trouble as it was with Barricade – no need to start another ruckus now.

Basically, Shockshell's life had been one very obnoxious version of Hell.

After the battle for Mission City where Megatron was defeated and the Allspark destroyed, Starscream left Earth to rendezvous with the Decepticons. Barricade had remained behind to hold the fort until the Seeker returned, although the endeavors of the shock trooper during the six month period where he was on the mud ball alone hardly mattered. On his visit back to Cybertron, Starscream enlisted the help of Soundwave to seek out soldiers to continue fighting the Autobots on Earth, and at the personal request of Barricade, Shockshell was one of the many chosen. They entered the planet's northern atmosphere during the late winter of 2007 and Soundwave beamed them scanned schematics for their chosen alternate modes from his position as a satellite orbiting the planet.

All the other members within his platoon had military grade alternate. To think that ended up being a Primus damned and miniscule _sedan_, a Chevy Impala, was just as ridiculous as it sounded. It could have been worse though. He could have ended up as a compact car.

Then there was the fact that he had nearly blown his cover.

Being a 2006 LS Impala was bad enough, but the fact that he had exposed himself to his owner was even worse. The human in question had been a business man who used Shockshell for business trip purposes to the point where the Decepticon had sixty-seven thousand or so miles on him. On evening however, there was an incident where that same human had seen him in robot-mode behind his house. Shockshell thought the human had been asleep, and the only reason he was in his bipedal form to begin with was because his joints were starting to kill him. When the human tried to call authorities… well, the authorities had come, but all they found was the human male's charred remains inside his burning home. All the while, parked in front of the dead man's house, was his dark grey Chevy.

Barricade had been less than pleased and was, in fact, royally pissed.

The police vehicle had chewed the younger mech out over his radio and, personally speaking, Shockshell was very glad that the black and white Decepticon officer had not been in the immediate area. Shockshell had a gut feeling that he was going to end up with a face full of flail being thrown in his general direction. Above all else, even if he wasn't good with undercover operations, he at least had a decent sense of self preservation. Either way, Barricade wasn't there to bail the Impala out when the family of the deceased man donated his car to the government auction. They steam cleaned his engine, a 325 V6, but did a miniscule job on the interior with only a light cleaning. There wasn't as if there was anything important in there anyways though. The man who had owned him beforehand never even had as much as passengers to sit in the backseat. Things could have been worse, though. After all, they could have sent him to the junkyard to collect dust.

He hadn't been in the auction lot for very long, thank Primus. For all the time he had to spend there, it could have been worse. He could have been there for much longer.

Before an actual auctioning session was scheduled to go underway, the Decepticon was stirred out of his boredom induced recharge when he detected three figures approaching him. He kept silent, but he trained all his scanning equipment so it focused on the oncoming humans. There were two males and one female. One of the humans, a male, was young in comparison to his cohorts. From the scan Shockshell ran on the man, the data that came back told the Decepticon that the human was in his forties. The other male and female, both somewhat large around the stomachs, were much older and scans indicated they were in their late sixties. Shockshell examined his internal automatic examination radar to find out what they had been doing beforehand. The youngest of the group had been seemingly leading the other two organics around examining the other cars on display. He had been looking at the Stratus and Malibu before he caught sight of Shockshell. Now the trio was migrating over to him, and they examined him up and down as if he was a product when they reached him.

Well, technically speaking, he _was_ a product. This obviously didn't mean he was too happy about it, though.

The oldest man whistled looking through his window at the white seat interior. He reached in through the open windowpane and ran a finger over the polished wooden dash. He grinned as he did it. "I don't know about you Paul, but I think Megs will like it. Doesn't she like _your_ Impala?"

The younger male of the group, Paul, was circling and examining him with intense and observant hazel eyes. They were very critical and hawk like. "Do you think Meghan _would_ like it?"

_Call me an "it" one more time and I will run over your foot_, Shockshell hissed in silence.

The old woman of the trio laughed, voice raspy. She reached a scrawny but still oddly firm hand up to scratch at her white hair. "Do _you_ like it? She has your tastes you know. Like father, like daughter."

So that was how Shockshell ended up in the care of Paul and his two parents to be a birthday present for his sixteen year old daughter. As bad as it was, Shockshell had to scornfully remind himself that it could have been worse. After all, he could have ended up being a present for a sixteen year old male with drinking problems, right? Right.

When it came time for the auction, Paul and his two parents bid three times before he was officially sold to them. The auction runners brought him out of the building through the back garage to the humans that had purchased him. Shockshell was half tempted to floor it and drive away so he could spare himself from having to seat the organics inside him. He only had to seat one luckily, which was a relief to him because he wasn't used to holding more than one passenger. He never actually held _more_ than one passenger. Paul was a decent driver though. After the humans discreetly slapped illegal plates onto his hide − the humans kept muttering to themselves that it would be necessary if they ever wanted to get the new car home − Paul drove him three hours to a town called Ashby. The two older humans had been following him in a car of their own and, once they reached what Shockshell presumed to be their home, they switched the plates and Paul got back into the driver's seat.

Both of his parents came up to the driver's window to take a look at the interior one more time. The old man spoke first. "So, you're going to clean it up? You don't have to work too hard."

Paul laughed. "You think its clean now? Wait until _I'm_ through with it."

It took another hour or so for Paul to drive away from his parents' home in Ashby back to his own home in Manchester. The drive had been tedious for the most part, and the Decepticon had been half tempted to fake breaking down on the highway in hopes that the human would voluntarily abandon him. That way Barricade wouldn't get upset with him but, of course, Shockshell did not go through with it. Instead, he kept silent and vigilant while he was driven to another house. The human turned the robot in disguise onto a private street with fancy, near identical houses that sat in front of a trailer park hidden through the woods on the other side of the road. When Paul pulled into the driveway, Shockshell observed that there was another Chevy Impala, a silver 2008 LT, parked in the garage.

Through the open door came a human wearing gardening gloves. He was around the same age as Paul, and he grinned wildly when he saw Paul parked and step out of the vehicle. "That's Meghan's car?"

"I got it for seven grand," Paul said. He walked up to the man with the garden gloves and he pecked him on the lips lightly. He then turned to face Shockshell with observant hazel eyes. "So, what do you think?"

"I think she'll love it," the man with the gardening gloves said. He turned his head and kissed Paul on the cheek. "Is it a 2006?"

"Yeah, but the interior is nicer than mine," Paul beamed. Both men now walked around to either side of Shockshell and, even though the Decepticon in question remained silent, he still kept his scanners trained on both organics at once in case they tried something.

The man with the gardening gloves peered in through the passenger door window and whistled. "That _is_ nice. Are you going to get her vanity plates?"

Paul nodded, and he looked over the car's hood at the other human when he finished looking through the driver's side window. "Yeah. You know, my mother was thinking about getting her plates that read _Shockbox_ somehow. Meghan's penname. I'm not sure about it. Maybe something to go along with her initials…"

The man with the gardening gloves laughed. "Are you seriously _not_ considering a variation of Shockbox for the plates? Shockbox. _Do it._"

Paul made a face. "You can't be serious, Bill. Are you taking my _mother's_ side?"

"Of course I am, sweetheart," Bill beamed. He struck a pose, as if this was somehow funny, before he shaking his head in dismay at Paul's deadpan reaction. He gestured to Shockshell with his dirt covered gloves. If he tried to touch him with those, Shockshell was going to throw a fit. _"Trust me _when I say that will make her just as happy as getting the car."

Paul stared at Bill in silence, stunned. He abruptly smirked. "Whatever you say. Shockbox it is, then. Where's the steam cleaner?"

Bill raised his eyebrows. "You're going to clean the interior? It looks gorgeous as it is."

"Honey, trust me. It'll look ten times better when _I'm_ finished with it."

He hadn't been kidding. At _all_. Shockshell had to endure two days' worth of cleaning, but it could have been worse though. For starters, the cleaning could have never ended.

The Decepticon sat there in the driveway like a pouting child when the human retrieved his cleaning supplies. His interior was vacuumed, steam cleaned, vacuumed again, and then starch protection was applied to his seats… and then he was steam cleaned _again_ for good measure. His dashboard was wiped down mercilessly and his outside hide was polished as if there wouldn't be another tomorrow. Then he was driven to the car wash and was cleaned on luxury settings before he received a hand wash back at Paul's home before being waxed. His interior was steam cleaned again for reasons he couldn't understand. Shockshell began to seriously question the human's sanity.

After two days had passed, Paul and Bill both jumped into their grey Chevy Impala and drove off leaving Shockshell alone. The Decepticon did not take the risk of transforming, but he did rev his engine slightly to relieve the aches developing in his compacted joints from remaining in his alternate form for so long. It was an aggravating sensation, but nothing could have really been done to relieve it. It seemed to catch the attention of a neighbor however, so he stayed silent for the rest of the time. When Paul and Bill returned, Shockshell kept quiet while they applied the new legal new license plates to his bumpers. When Bill knelt to apply the front plate on underneath the Decepticon's small grill, Shockshell had just enough time to see that it read _SHOKBOX_ in large green letters.

When the third day came, he was driven back up to Ashby. He was quickly parked in the garage and abandoned. The garage door came down and, for a brief moment, Shockshell was allowed relief.

He transformed as quietly as he could, but his purpose of being quiet was defeated when he collapsed on the floor in his exhaustion. His red optics cast a scarlet glow across the dim garage and he looked up to scan his surroundings. It was awfully cramped in comparison to the garage he had been kept in at the auction hall, but he found that he at least had enough room to stretch his joints. It could have been worse, after all. He could have been in a stasis pod with no mobility at all. There was a large SUV parked beside him and Shockshell accidentally scrapped his side against it. He could have cared less if he damaged it.

If the entire universe had been watching, they would have been laughing. Loudly. Shockshell was sure of it. It could have been worse though. He could have been actually hearing them.

_I want to shoot something right now,_ he thought bitterly. _Preferably something that will suffer._

Of course, given the circumstances, it was impossible for him to draw his weapons even if he wanted to. Then even if he could, there was nothing for him to shoot at. Even then, if there _was_ something for him to shoot at, the commotion would alert the humans and he would have no choice but to kill them. Barricade would have his head. The Decepticon car snorted to himself in aggravation but then his sensors detected footfalls approaching him from beyond one the doors in the garage that led into the basement of the house. He hastily transformed as silently as he could and waited.

Even just by scanning her, he did not need to be told twice that it was the elderly woman, Paul's mother and his daughter's grandmother, from when he was first picked up at the auction. She walked past the SUV parked beside him without even noticing the huge scratch running up the side of it − Shockshell _had_ damaged it, much to the Decepticon's sick sense of pleasure − and she paused momentarily to admire his form. Finally, she pulled something out of her large shirt pocket. It was an envelope with a metallic clip on the front of it, and the clip itself was in the shape of a small winged human. Shockshell quickly looked the image up on the internet. What he found claimed it to be an "angel" or something like that. It was an attachment for the sun visor.

The elderly woman smiled and stepped forward, opening the side passenger door and dropping the envelope on the seat. Then she smiled backed away, closing the door and stepping around to pat the hood of his alternate form as though she thought − or even as much as _known_ − that he was a living, sentient being. It unnerved Shockshell a little bit.

"Keep my granddaughter safe," she said with a quiet rasp. She turned to leave and she exited the garage the way she first entered quietly.

No more than ten cycles later, the garage door reopened.

Paul swiftly entered and Bill followed close behind. Paul took the driver's seat and, as he backed Shockshell out, Bill stood guard at the entryway like a sentry. As soon as Shockshell's alternate form was backed out onto the driveway, Paul abruptly parked him at an angle. Shockshell was momentarily confused, but his patience was near lost when Bill darted back into the garage to bring out a huge, frilly purple and silver bow.

…_I'm going to kill Barricade. _Kill_ him._

That was how Shockshell found himself in the situation he was in now. Still, then again, it could have been worse. Other Decepticons could have been watching for one thing.

Bill finished fastening the bow to his hood. "How do you think Meghan's going to react?"

"Here," Paul said with a grin. He reached down into his jeans pocket and pulled out a slim electrical device that he promptly opened. It bleeped and, upon seeing it, Bill laughed. Paul was grinning like a maniac when he placed the camera on the roof of the car aimed towards the side of the house. Paul stepped back and stood beside Bill examining the car. Paul looked to Bill with a smile. "Well, now we won't have to listen to her complain about not having a car."

Bill leaned over and pecked Paul on the cheek. "Now we just have to listen to her complain about Proposition 8 inCaliforniafor a little while longer. You did a good job, sweetie."

Paul laughed and turned to head around the house. "Let's get her."

Both men disappeared around the other side of the house.

Shockshell found himself sitting there alone. The stupid ribbon fluttered on his hood and the weight of the camera made him half tempted to transform and throw the damn thing across the yard. He was more than willing to give the ribbon the same treatment as well. Then he'd give the same to Barricade if he ever saw him ever again. Like an impatient sparkling, he revved his engine softly as if he was sulking… fine, he _was_ sulking. The dog that was wandering around the yard beside the driveway whined and turned scampering away with her tail in between her legs. Shockshell momentarily wondered if it would be in his best interest to slowly back away from the house and out of sight.

Several cycles passed in total silence. Then Shockshell heard a noise coming from around the corner of the house where Paul and Bill had dashed off to. Now Shockshell could hear the very distinct footfalls of a human coming up the path towards the front, but it the noise was far too light sounding to be that of one of the two men who had fastened the bow on his hood.

Then she appeared around the corner.

The human femme in question was young in stark comparison to Paul and Bill. Scans indicated her puny body was no more than sixteen years old, and she was a scrawny flesh bag that looked oddly scruffy around the edges. Her hair was cropped short like her father's, but there was a far more distinct look of craziness to it. Besides that, there was nothing truly worth noting about her. That was, of course, until she caught sight of him.

The human female's eyes suddenly bugged and she staggered sideways turning away towards the woods in her surprise seeing him. "HOLY _JESUS_." She suddenly turned back around to look at him again, but now her hands were clamped over her mouth. Her expression was simultaneously uncertain and thrilled. Shockshell imagined his own faceplates, had they been visible, would have been twisted into a sneer.

Now the rest of the family had come around the side of the house, one of whom was Paul. While the rest of the family of organics laughed brightly seeing Meghan's reaction to her new car, Meghan herself turned, glared accusingly at her father for the briefest of moments, and then she abruptly hugged him. Paul hugged back and Bill came around the corner just then, reaching a hand out to ruffle the top of the human girl's head.

_So _this_ is my punishment? _Shockshell had to keep himself from revving his engine in agitation. _If I ever see Barricade again, I'll rip out his solenoids._

The family watched as Meghan proceeded to inspect her new car, opening up the passenger side door and examining the letter of congratulations that had been left there by her grandmother. The human female must have circled her new car ten times before anyone could convince her to get in the driver's seat to start the engine. She finally obliged and did so, but only for ten seconds before she spooked and turned the car back off. Shockshell wasn't impressed but, once Paul offered to take her for a ride in the car, Meghan obliged readily.

"You can't drive because you don't have your driver's permit inMassachusettsyet, but you can drive it once we bring it to theNew Hampshireborder after the party," Paul said getting into the driver's side.

"I know." Meghan's voice was tentative.

Shockshell bitterly tolerated having the two humans ride inside of him. Up until that exact moment in time, he had not had more than two organics in his interior at the same time. The sensation was slightly uncomforting and was _still_ unnerving even when Paul backed him out of the long driveway. When the house was out of sight in the thick mass of trees blocking its view, they reached the start of the road and Paul checked over his shoulder before backing out and shifting into drive. He drove slowly up the abandoned street through the woods and, after sometime, he pulled into the entrance of a void playground across from a cemetery just beyond it. Paul turned and got back on the road as if intending to drive back to the house, but then he pulled off to the side of the road and parked.

"Do you want to drive?"

Shockshell mentally winced. _Aw scrap. _please_ don't let that little organic vermin behind the wheel… _despite the fact that he hated humans as a general whole, he at least appreciated Paul's driving. The man was a good driver − an excellent one actually, to his credit − but the smaller organic did not look as though she possessed the capability. If she did something wrong, he wouldn't have the ability to fix it without making it obvious to both humans that he was more than a machine. It would completely blow his cover.

Inside his interior where she was seated on the passenger side, Meghan snapped her head around to look at her father. "But what about my permit?"

Paul waved his hand and opened his door to step out. "Don't worry about it. No one's going to pull us over." He closed the door.

For a brief moment, Meghan was alone inside of him. It felt like a blasted eternity, but then the dumb little femme snapped out of her daze and she stepped out to round the front of the car. Paul sat on the passenger side and Meghan took the front. The doors were closed and the seatbelts were fastened. The human girl snapped the car out of the parking gear.

_If you crash me, _Shockshell thought, _I'll step on you the moment you get out. Then I'll kick you over the tree line and go looking for your corpse so I can kick you again._

She grasped the steering wheel and lightly pressed her bare foot against the accelerator.

Shockshell inched forward and waited for the young organic to do something stupid. Surprisingly, she did not. Gradually, they picked up momentum until Shockshell was driving twenty-two miles an hour back to the house. Meghan was quiet for the most part, but Shockshell could hear her breathing and register her hands as they gripped the wheel as though he was made of glass. Her palms weren't sweaty, but he could also register that her heart rate was a little off through the touch alone. She was undoubtedly just as dazed as she was excited. When they turned back into the driveway of the house, there was no one out front anymore. Meghan drove Shockshell forward before coming to a stop and gingerly moving the gear shift into park. She turned to key to shut the engine off before she looked to her father as if wanting to see his approval.

Paul nodded and grinned. "So, what do you think?"

Meghan grinned back. "I love it."

_I bet you wouldn't if I transformed right now and tried to step on you, squishy fucker._

Both father and daughter got out and walked around the side of the house again. Everything went silent again. Shockshell welcomed that silence despite the fact that birds up in the trees started chattering in an irritating fashion. It could have been worse though. The humans could have decided to have their ridiculous party right in front of him where they would bother him. On top of that, he could have still been wearing that Primus forsaken ribbon on his hood. _That_ abomination had been placed safely inside his trunk. He'd see to it personally that it was destroyed later. The late afternoon sun beat against his dark grey exterior and he was half tempted to go into recharge when he felt himself unlock against his own will. He was jarred out of his half asleep state − quickly checking his internal clock, he realized he had dozed off for a solid megacycle − and then he felt his trunk pop open. When he scanned the area to figure out why he had done this, he saw that Meghan was rounding the corner with a dozen boxes and small black device in hand. Shockshell growled to himself seeing that she had an automatic locking control attached to the key that started his engine.

Meghan walked up behind him, lifted his trunk, and placed the assorted items inside. She fiddled around with everything back there for what seemed to be a long time and Shockshell was on the verge of going back to sleep when the sound of his own driver side door opening jarred him back to awareness. He had been so out of it that he had not even felt her close his trunk. The human girl slowly got into the driver's seat paused briefly, and then she closed the door and ran her hand over the dashboard with a fixated fascination. Right there and then, even though she had no knowledge of his Decepticon heritage, he knew that she loved him. Not in a romantic sense mind you, absolutely not, but in the same fashion a best friend would guard another.

Shockshell scoffed to himself.

All things considered, things could have been worse. Like, he could have been dead.

**Fin**


End file.
